is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
