God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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