And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have aggressive nipples.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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