there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
