Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
