Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
