Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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