In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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