so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
