I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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