U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
