Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
