Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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