are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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