I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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