Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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