we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize