Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
