All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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