whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
