Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
