Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
