i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
