Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
