im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
