I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Shame - the story of my life.
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