also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
