I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
