we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
