so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
