she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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