Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
These tits shall not be calmed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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