I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
