Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
