Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do herpes really smell.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
