i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
