we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No subtext here. People are naked.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
