He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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