He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
