Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
