Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What drink are we having for lunch?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I supernannyed him into submission
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
