Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wanna passion pit in your ass
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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