What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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