We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize