i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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