im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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