I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
