exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You were trust falling into bushes
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
