I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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