Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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