I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you win again, gameday.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just googled if crying burns calories
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
