she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
