why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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