So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
